Life

Lets be honest today, bipolar sucks. Waking up every morning knowing you quit your job because you cant even do the basic things a human being should be able to do, interact with others, is pretty humiliating. The fact that my emotions are all over the place, and that i can barely keep a conversation with anyone without wanting to break down, is horrid. It sucks to know that there is a defect with me, that i was not born like every other pi-m-bipolar-and-i-cannot-keep-calmerson because genetics suck. I know, im supposed to give people encouraging words through this site, but doing so all the time isnt honest. There are going to be days when life is going to kick you down and you are going to sit there and take it. Bipolar isnt a joke, its dangerous, sad and well no one likes it. Ive manage to quit my job, spend over a thousand dollars, and punch my fiance all in the course of 2 weeks, and for no reason what so ever, other than i cant control my moods. My new medicines have made my mania skyrocket and my anger get out of control. My previous meds were the perfect combo but they made my hair fall out, but still depakote was heaven on earth with my moods. Now i just feel like shit everyday, and well i dont know what to do about it, besides of course going to my doctor and having him switch me for the bajillion time this year. Anyone who has this disorder knows pills come and go, keeping relationships is hard, controling your moods is something we wish about, and well keeping nightmares away, well thats a joke, and insomnia is perfect proof of that. Anyways that was my rant! Keep your head up!

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2 thoughts on “Life

  1. You just came in wrong, and then it got agressively worse from there. I know and despise those morning. Dumb-ass attack though, to put hot baocr-gnease in a glass:-)

    Liked by 1 person

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